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Successful readjustment means the opposite. Nevertheless, the twentieth century readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they are firmly grounded in fact. We could not prove life in the sense that you can prove a straight line is the shortest distance between two points, yet, there it was. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. We may have seemed to lecture. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Then faith would be dead indeed. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. At these informal gatherings one may often see from 50 to 200 persons. But all problems will not be solved at once. Discuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits. That was all. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. Should it happen again, regard it in a different light. A good doctor or psychiatrist can tell you whether these complications are serious. There are the same fast friendships, there is the same helpfulness to one another as you find among our western friends. They often forget father was beyond human aid. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job-wife or no wife-we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. God didnt do it. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil. 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We know all about liquor as a social lubricant. Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there. I woke up. This hope, however, was destroyed by the doctors telling him that while his religious convictions were very good, in his case they did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience. He gets stirred up about their troubles, but not at all about yours. Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Amen. We have then completed Step Seven. Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? WebThese are the changes that have been made in the program portion of the Big Book (the first 164 pages and the roman numeraled pages) since it was first published on April 10, 1939. If you think he will be shy of a spiritual remedy, ask him to look at the chapter on alcoholism. One morning he took the bull by the horns and set out to tell those he feared what his trouble had been. We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? Is not each trying to arrange the family show to his liking? We doubt if many of them can do it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Malo WA 99150. Historical romances at Harlequin will run to 75,000 words, but everywhere else theyre longer. If your decision is yes, whether the reason be humanitarian or business or both, then the following suggestions may be helpful. On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside place where they have a bar. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition.

We have entered the world of the Spirit. We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldnt want it. Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising. Life will mean something at last. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. Probably there are still some misgivings. Hes just beaten up a couple of nurses. Instead, we looked at the human defects of these people, and sometimes used their shortcomings as a basis of wholesale condemnation. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. One day he told me about an executive of the same bank who, from his description, was undoubtedly alcoholic. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. In the morning we have kissed and made up. You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. Only thirty years later the conquest of the air was almost an old story and airplane travel was in full swing. All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. If that is so we are sorry, for we ourselves dont always care for people who lecture us. A kindly act once in a while isnt enough. Resentment is the number one offender. Love and tolerance of others is our code. Perhaps he will never have much money again. For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. His defense must come from a Higher Power.

It is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up to that cherished vision. There had been no real infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times by extreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes. Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health. Logic is great stuff. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts and tells you he wants to stop. I was staring at an inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. We heard no more of Fred for a while. Sometimes there were screaming delirium and insanity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles.

Meanwhile you might try to help the wife of another serious drinker. Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. He listened in wonder as I talked. Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution. It was impossible to say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work.

The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought lustre to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits. The power of God goes deep! The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. Why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my story? Memoir Novel 80,000 words. His friends have slipped away, his home is a near-wreck and he cannot hold a position. The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Surprisingly enough, we find such convictions no great obstacle to a spiritual experience. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of But it is clear that we made our own misery. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. The other day an approach was made to the vice president of a large industrial concern. I was shocked, but interested. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self- delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. We find that most of this embarrassment is unnecessary. If we keep on the way we are going there is little doubt that much good will result, but the surface of the problem would hardly be scratched. He should not be made a favorite. There had been no fight. The ticker still clattered. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. Subscribe to our newsletter to receive the latest news, blogs, and so much more! According to a survey of over 900 authors, there is an average of 233 words per page in a book on Amazon for nonfiction or 280 for fiction novels. Men under them are frequently their friends.

So we think that unless some good and useful purpose is to be served, past occurrences should not be discussed. Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. He looked straight at me. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. Had they fired me first, and had they then taken steps to see that I was presented with the solution contained in this book, I might have returned to them six months later, a well man. Some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous. So, for one reason or another, they cover these men, hoping matters will take a turn for the better. There are over 38,000 passages like the examples shown above. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He had commenced our way of life, had secured a position, and was getting his head above water. We wouldnt treat sick people that way. I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my people concerning drink. We have sought sympathy. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? With it you can avert death and misery for them. We dont use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of God. Most editors wouldnt recommend going over 80,000, as it will inspire bad taste among readers. It hadnt even come to mind. He will not impose. Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home. These juniors are often in a difficult position. The fact is that he should work with other people to maintain his own sobriety. Everyone knows about the others alcoholic troubles. This is the how and why of it. His action met wide-spread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town. If you are sure he doesnt mean business, there is no doubt you should discharge him. Many of us, former patients, go there to help. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were. We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. She is indignant about it, and has a warrant out for our arrest. My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened. Drink was taking an important and exhilarating part in my life. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver. It was my second meeting ever, the previous one being the same group, one week before. Can it be appreciated that he has been a victim of crooked thinking, directly caused by the action of alcohol on his brain? Provided as 7th Tradition Software by The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 Malo WA 99150 Chapter 1: Bill's Story Chapter 2: There is a Solution Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism Chapter 4: We Agnostics Chapter 5: How it Works Chapter 6: Into Action Chapter 7: Working with Others And I did. He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. No St. Helena for me! As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. I had been overwhelmed. In the realm of the material, mens minds were fettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. I had no intention of drinking. They knew they had a host of new friends; it seemed they had known these strangers always. This is all to the good. Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling. Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. The man must decide for himself. We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve our problems. I cant go through with it. Do not be discouraged. Think of what you can bring to it. I had developed a theory that most people lost money in stocks through ignorance of markets. The checking account melted like snow in June. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give? We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. Good generalship may decide that the problem be attacked on the flank rather than risk a face- to-face combat. His business may suffer somewhat. Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, I dont miss it at all. On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his Creator, and said he was perfectly willing to do anything necessary. People like you are too heartbreaking. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. Everybody nowadays, believes in scores of assumptions for which there is good evidence, but no perfect visual proof. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. My incredible behavior in the face of a desperate desire to stop was explained. Average novel word counts are generally around 85,000 but they can range from 50,000 to 120,000. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.

In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. Perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the fellowship among us. Have we tried to make mortar without sand? In case he does stumble, even once, you will have to decide whether to let him go. We went to live with my wifes parents. Though old buildings will eventually be replaced by finer ones, the new structures will take years to complete. According to a survey of over 900 authors, there is an average of 233 words per page in a book on Amazon for nonfiction or 280 for fiction novels. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. Come, whats this all about? I queried. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. Wasnt it because self-reliance failed us? He proved to be a devil-may-care young fellow whose parents could not make out whether he wanted to stop drinking or not. Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the man an injustice. Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded. To his wife, he remarked, Dont see anything the matter here, Ma. We must, or it kills us! But we must go further and that means more action. The most common rule for a memoir is that it should not go more than 80,000 words. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. Still another difficulty is that you may become jealous of the attention he bestows on other people, especially alcoholics. I stood in the sunlight at last. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at the minute; and this was none at all. We hope this book has answered some of them. They are all disappointed, and often let him feel it. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that. Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. Then, in days, weeks, or months, a fresh outburst. Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged. Resentment grows. Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesnt. Faith without works is dead. The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve. Now, this house will hardly accommodate its weekly visitors, for they number sixty or eighty as a rule. If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition, whatever that happens to be. In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. We think this method of approach will accomplish several things. At one of the finals I was too drunk to think or write. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.

In this book you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. One dismal afternoon he paced a hotel lobby wondering how his bill was to be paid. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Impressed by those who visited him at the hospital, he capitulated entirely when, later, in an upper room of this house, he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own. Of course, this chapter refers to alcoholics, sick people, deranged men. Feel better. Most of us have done that sort of thing. Your desire to protect him should not cause you to lie to people when they have a right to know were he is and what he is doing. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. She was furious. This takes us out of ourselves. The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even the ladies they sometimes brought home-our husbands thought we were so inhospitable. One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd.

The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of one of the largest banking institutions in America knows I no longer drink. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re- emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it. Arrangements were also made with the chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital to select still others from the stream of misery which flows through that institution. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. I ordered another sandwich and decided to have another glass of milk. His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age.

Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. Our own recovery proves that! Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. The right answer will come, if we want it.
Among them you will make lifelong friends.

This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them. We make this recommendation with some confidence. Even when he wanted to assert himself he could not, for his drinking placed him constantly in the wrong. by, The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 Here is a brief account: Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. Much moved, I wandered outside. No one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially-if he means business. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. The First 164 Pages. How to use the twelve steps is explained using examples and anecdotes. What usually happens? They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. Far from admitting he was an alcoholic, he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves. Neither is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable, though it emanate from our best minds. We found, too, that we had been worshippers.